Silly bitch.

A stupid guy at my school has successfully spread a rumor around school that i have an eating disorder. i think i might be too vocal about my obsession with food, i just cant help it when im around my close friends, i say stupid shit like "oh yum strawberries, they're negative calories you know?"

im a silly bitch. i didn't know if i should feel good about being thought of as a girl with an ED or not. they think im too skinny?! yay! or they think im retarded? does it matter what they think though???!!! FUCK THEM. i denied the rumor though. my dads being sooo bi-polar.

he knows i have ED and he doesn't know how to classify me, binger? or anorexic? -he doesn't know i purge. everyone in my family has weight issues. i think when he thinks of me as a binger (which i rarely do) hes scared i'll become obese, but he doesn't want me to die of starvation... poor father. i wish i was perfect for you. BUT he DID say he rather me be anorexic than obese. Jesus Christ!!!

oh well.

je ne mange pas...

Adderall and Greentea anyone?

I run on adderall <3>i take dietary fiber pills as a natural laxative so my digestive system doesn't get fucked up, its slow but effective. i also drink 3 cups of green tea a day which burns up to 240 calories I NEED TO LOSE ATLEAST 10LBS THIS SUMMER!!

i regret to inform thee, that i want to experiment with cocaine, only because i have friends who do it and they lose around 10lbs in ONE binge... i dont have an addictive personality, dont worry, i only get addicted to non-substance things strangely...like purging and counting calories.

any feedback loves?

Beat Like a Drum

this blog is just my ordeal through my eating disorder... im anorexic and bulimic. i fucking hate bulimia... but its such a good grip for me when i fuck up. i love anorexia... i have soo much goddamn control its beautiful, i like the feeling of fragility. this is my first blog so wish me luck.. i want anyone to read my blog really... people who can learn about these disorders, basically know the truth... and for other girls with ED's its always a good feeling knowing someone else gets you. fuck yeah. i run on adderall, i make jokes, i can be really cynical sometimes, but i KNOW how to have fun.
stick with me and lets learn how to love together.