POOR LITTLE BITCH GIRL IS BACK

OMFGGG. well im back on blogger <3 you might not remember me, my name is hannah/lola and i'm still in recovery for anorexia/bulimia nervosa. im up to a sickly 128lbs (before 99lbs) and still exercise like a weirdo. I will have to tell you this blog will be less on my eating patterns and restrictive diet behavior because... BETTER SHIT IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE and you would rather here about my fun SeX lIfE and meaningless encouners with women and a big crush i have on my teacher..... ANYWAYS. I will be catching up with all of your blogs and posting lovely comments and giving you the new details of reformed life.

2010-2011:

-I dated a girl Vivienne -total heterosexual asshole, sex was boring, she tastes like a man.

-Hooked up with a 26 yr old Grad student named Monics, we shared redwine at a club and ate cheap cheese <3333 she tastes like grapes.

-Best friend fucks with my life.

-best friend slowly ruins my life.

-BEST FUCKING FRIEND makes out with Monica.

-Give up on old BFF

-have accidental sex with a girl i shouldn't have fucked because i dont do relationships anymore..and she likes me a lot... and im an asshole, and im scared of it...

-NOTICE MY FIRST STRETCH MARKS. FUCK ME IN THE (skin) FOLDS!!!

- Go on birth control because periods are for straight girls... jk (ive already earned my red wings)

- started up my schools first Gay-straight Alliance, im the president..women like presidents.

-Became a part of an activist Feminist group! PUSSY-POWER!!

-starve, fail, starve, starve, fail, get fat, starve, get fatter. die die die metabolism.

"i used to be butch and strap my tits back and play guitar hero, now all i do is starve, paint, and make love.."

truth is, im sure a lot of girls dont really like me because im too open and talk freely of my vagina, and i curse way too fucking much....

well... you should start loving the word vagina. because you have one...

Vegan Raw Foodist

im still fasting and strangely i feel pretty great. i cant run a marathon or anything but i feel so clean inside. im attempting going vegan, its really difficult to do, but i feel like i should compensate for my starvation and eat super healthy when i eat. i hate the idea of meat and dairy products rotting in my body and having my body suck up all the empty nutrition of garbage junk food. i was vegetarian before, but now im vegan. i wanted to be a vegan raw foodist, where you only eat raw vegan food, but this school year i wont have the money nor time to accomplish it. i've lost 3 more lbs from fasting, but i wont change my stats until next week.
i start my junior year of high school wednesday and im nervous about it. time goes by so fast and then we die, we cease to exist. but if i manage to recover from anorexia and i live to be an old wrinkly raisin, i hope i'll be at peace with it. this year i'll be attending more parties at my friends lofts and this years fashion show i shall model at 95lbs or lower and not 103lbs.
sorry for the boring post! 
im easing out of my fast this week:
Monday: 1 cup cantaloupe, 2 cups greentea- total 55cal. burn 600
tuesday: 1 cup watermelon, 2 cups greentea- total 50cal. burn 500
wednesday: 1 cup soup, 2 cups greentea- total 70cal. burn 400
thursday: 2/3 cup whole grain cereal w/ 1/2 cup almond milk. total 145cal. burn 300
friday: 1 apple for breakfast, steamed spinach for dinner. total 110cal. burn 500
sat.: tofu sauteed spinach, 1 apple for dinner. total 142 cal. burn 600
sun.: 1 mini bagel w/ 1tbsp organic jelly for breakfast. 1 cup salad for dinner. total 210. burn 600


total week intake: 682cal  
total week outtake: 3,500cal


ciao <333 must go read your blogs now

Living to Die, and Dying to Live

so many lovely comments :) well, my mother stood me up and just never came to pick me up, nor called. im used to it though so im not pissed off or moved to tears. i stayed home the whole day and didn't see anyone in fright that i might binge with a friend.

did you know a heaping tablespoon is an actual measurement? thats so fucking retarded its funny.

i made White chocolate raspberry cheesecake because i was bored, it takes 2 hours to prepare, 1 hour to cook, and 8 hours to cool in the fridge! i hope everyone likes it, i know i'll never know :D well, i did have a couple white chocolate chips... i did an hour of cardio that day.

i tried to work out more later on, but my stomach started going into this stinging shocking pain, same with my chest plates and throat, i waited for it to go away and it settled, and then more hair from my lovely scalp came off in clumps, i dont have bald spots though. i started taking fish oil pills like yo guys said, so hopefully it'll make a difference <3>

it crossed my mind that some people think that they are only living to die, that we only exist to die, but what about the middle? like the good part of the goddamn Oreo! live long, prosper, then die.

Answers:

1. Lauren: yup, the smell alone curbs my appetite too :)
2. Saphira: aw thanks hun, you have such a beautiful soul too, i hope i reach my goal weight also.
3. Sarah: i can only hope for control :) you're inspiring too.
4. Idil: stay lovely yourself too <3
5. Bali: i love watching numerous cooking shows too :D
6. Lola-Rose: thanks hun <333>
7. V: yeah i enjoy others eating my food too, as long as i dont munch on it :)
8. EDNOS Angel: yeah thats all her negativity is good for now haha

well i must go read all your blog posts now and my weigh in is monday because during the week mes parents travaillent, my parents are working, then i can starve ALL day and work out.

ciao!